Best Holiday Gifts

It is now your relationship "strained" with your teen? Is this all you want in a positive relationship with your teen, but you do not know how to accomplish it?

Well, here is the springboard to a path very good relationship with your son or daughter this holiday season. Ready? This is the "F" word ..... forgiveness. It's true! Forgiveness. Something that is not cost a cent and can make all the difference in your parenting relationship.

The holiday season is filled with advertisements for the perfect gift that promise happiness for your teen. Of course the gifts and gadgets are great, and teens are sure to love. But I'm not sure this is the best gift for your teenager wants.

What is the best holiday gift you can give your teen this holiday season?

A relationship with you! Despite all the wealth and riches in the world, I think most of today's teens desire a close relationship with their family. And for those who will tell the family "is not important to them, somehow I still believe at heart they really wish they had a stronger relationship with their parents.

How can you start having a better relationship with your teen this holiday season?

Is it love? A better understanding of what your teen knows? More patience with the decisions they make? Although all the above are valid for any relationship, the life blood of any healthy relationship is forgiveness. Forgiveness can melt away the cold that builds subtly between family members, especially parents and adolescents. Without forgiveness, we can not love their full potential, walk in the shoes of another person, or be sick without having expectations of the other person.

Why not forgive?

If forgiveness is the lifeblood of any relationship, then the resentment of his death. The resentment prevents growth, with the exception of himself. It stunts a relationship by keeping to the spot where the resentment began. It does not seem to go beyond this place. Resentment can also stroll around like a low fever, never really exploded into a full blown argument. During this time, getting stronger and causing division in the family yet. But if left alone, bit by bit of resentment may grow into bitterness.

Resentment is also insidious because it is often repackaged. Often, parents and adolescents may not be aware they are held in resentment. Sometimes it is given a different name other than anger. As a consultant, clients often say: "I'm not angry, just a little shocked." Or my favorite: "I'm not angry, I'm just frustrated." You can rename anything you need, but there is still resentment.

What forgiveness looks like in the relationship with your teenager?

Ask a hundred different people, and you would probably get a hundred different answers. Here's my definition of forgiveness: if your relationship is free from any anger because you've worked through all negative emotions resulting from your teen's behavior. This does not mean you have forgotten what happened or deny the behavior of your teen. Instead, you are not controlled by emotions. And the only way to achieve forgiveness is to confront the conflicts and work with it.

Do you need to give the gift of forgiveness to your teen this holiday season?