50th Birthday

Rules that guys wished girls knew ..........

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it is to put it.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect gift again!

5. If you ask a question you do not want an answer, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes it is not thinking about you. Living with her.

7. Do not ask him what he thinks unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, this is no different, it's like any other cat.

9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10. Sunday Sports =. It's like the full moon or the changing tides. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not sport.

12. Everything that you are well. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but do not expect that.

16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your dad is probably too much.

17. Ask what you want. Subtle hints do not work.

18. No, he does not know what day it is. It never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

19. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing blank. We are bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think that we would be choosing the right pair, out of thirty, would go well with your dress?

21. answers Yes and No are perfectly acceptable.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. Consult a physician.

23. Your mom should not be our best friend.

24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25. Check your oil.

26. Do not give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27. Do not pretend. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months is inadmissible in an argument. All comments are null and void after 7 days.

30. If you do not dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, do not expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we mean the other.

32. Let us Ogle. If we do not look at other women, how can we know that you're pretty?

33. Do not rub the lamp if you do not want to leave engineering.

34. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want to do - but not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

37. blouses Wonderbra Women who wear low-cut and lose their right to complain about having their breasts looked.

38. Consider a mini-golf vacation of your hand. We need, as you do.

39. We say that models in magazines for men are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading magazines.

40. The relationship will never be like it was the first two months we went out.

41. Anyone can buy condoms.

omg lmao very gd x 10/10

In an altercation with Ms. we have?

new guy you shared my website * thumbs up * keep

Not particularly funny, but intelligent.

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